"john boyle" wrote in message
Your Uncle has no 'claim' on the house if it was done the way you
describe. Your sister and her husband did all right out of that deal
didn't they?

Yes I suppose they did and even I was angry with them at times when their
children started to need more care and so detract from Nan.
But then this was with hindsight a silly arrangement and it was only a
matter of time before it started to fall apart.
Stair gates etc. might be important to a small child but to an elderly lady
with bad joints they seemed like a prison!
However, the right way to deal with it should have been to all sit down and
decide what would be best, not go mental take her away and try to make my
sister and family homeless!


You are more distant kin than your Uncle and he ranks above you in that
regard. I am at a loss to understand why you think you are protecting
'your families' interest. Your Grandmother appears to be in a home that
is OK for her, its just a bit of a distance from you, but Southampton to
Sussex is less than the distance between me and my father when he was in
home. Your grandmothers rest home fees are being met. If her estate is
sufficiently large then her will need to be proved in probate so then it
will become public property and you can get to see it. You have no other
rights, and indeed, shouldn't have any other rights.

I know this, however I seem to be the only one who wants to try and sort
this out before she dies.
My uncle as I have said will not consider my side of the family once Nan
passes.
There is no money that I know of but I would like to think her will and not
his will, will be carried out so that my side of the family will get any
personal items after her death.
As it stands they will not as my uncle will take to the tip anything that is
not of immediate value to him.
This is what he did when Nan was moved to her current location and this
greatly upset her!
All I seek is the right for Nans intentions to be carried out and not the
arrogant selfish vindictive uncles.


So, as far as I can see, most of your post is irrelevant, your main
concern is being told if she dies. If your mother is still alive then
she should assert her status as another next of kin to your
grandmother's rest home managers. If not, then you should inform the
home of your connection but you will have to lump it with regard to your
uncle's status as being closer, blood wise, than you.
--

Yes partly, I would also like to be told if she is ever taken ill again or
rushed to hospital.
As far as we can arrangements have been made at the home to do this.
However this is far from perfect.
I do phone her most days, on occasions when the phone has not been answered
I have rung the warden.
When she has not been there I have dashed over only to find the phone off
the hook or my Nan in another flat with a friend.
Yes my mother is still alive but won't do much to help the situation as it
was her and her brother who fell out big time over Nan.

Mike