On Fri, 13 Oct 2006 10:45:06 +0100, "Max" wrote:

"Alex Heney" wrote in message
.. .
On Thu, 12 Oct 2006 13:40:15 +0100, "Max" wrote:

Hi

My divorce was finalised a few months ago and now my ex-wife says she
would
like some of her things which she left behind - she didn't specify what
exactly she was after. We didn't part on good terms (due to her
behaviour)
and I said that she can't have anything, since she had plenty of time to
take anything she wanted before she'd moved out and since she didn't ask
for
anything after she'd moved out.

She is now talking of contacting her lawyer in order to gain access to
those
things. Since we are legally divorced, is she entitled to do so?


If they are her possessions, then yes.

You can't just keep them because she didn't ask for them back earlier.

Morally, perhaps not, if she indeed deserves a fair treatment. What I need
to know is where I stand legally.

I wasn't talking morally, I was talking about legally.

And in fact would disagree with you on the moral issue. *Morally*, if
she has not done anything about them for some time, it is not fair to
expect you to have kept them safely stored in case she decides she
wants them.

But *legally*, they are her property. If you intentionally deprive her
permanently of her property then you could be guilty of theft.
--
Alex Heney, Global Villager
RamDisk is *not* an installation procedure.
To reply by email, my address is alexATheneyDOTplusDOTcom

Max wrote:
"Alex Heney" wrote in message
...
On Thu, 12 Oct 2006 13:40:15 +0100, "Max" wrote:

Hi

My divorce was finalised a few months ago and now my ex-wife says she
would
like some of her things which she left behind - she didn't specify what
exactly she was after. We didn't part on good terms (due to her
behaviour)
and I said that she can't have anything, since she had plenty of time to
take anything she wanted before she'd moved out and since she didn't ask
for
anything after she'd moved out.

She is now talking of contacting her lawyer in order to gain access to
those
things. Since we are legally divorced, is she entitled to do so?

If they are her possessions, then yes.

You can't just keep them because she didn't ask for them back earlier.

Morally, perhaps not, if she indeed deserves a fair treatment. What I need
to know is where I stand legally.

Max


Presumably she knows what these items are? Ask her to write them down
before hand, so she doesn't turn up and start laying claim to anything
that takes her fancy. Also, presumably you too know what is hers (though
I think I may have read where you said you weren't sure?) so box them up
in readiness. Assuming her list matches what is in the box neither of
you need even have contact with each other - someone else, a mutual
friend perhaps, could call and collect them. The alternative, and I've
heard of this happening, is that the police turn up either with the ex
or pretty soon afterwards when all hell breaks loose...


--
Robbie

On Fri, 13 Oct 2006 10:35:10 +0100, "Max" wrote:

"Fred" wrote in message
.. .

Has there been a financial settlement indicating where assets and
possessions should go?

We were going through mediation to sort things out but she walked out after
a few sessions, so no agreement was made. She didn't ask for anything
afterwards, I think she was assuming she could ask later and I would give
her what she would ask for. But when she'd refused to contribute to a debt
from which she also benefited, but which is in my name only, I said that if
that is her attitude I would stop being reasonable.

If you're going against an order then you're not
very wise. However, typically it will say what ever is in your possession
at that time will belong to that person.

She had plenty of time (weeks) to take what she wanted, including her books,
CDs, whatever - which she did. I am not sure what she thinks she forgot but
if she is not prepared to be fair to me, then I don't see why I should be
fair to her.



You have my sympathy. It's not uncommon for them to keep remembering
something else they wished they had taken at the time. It could go on
for ever....

If she gives you a list of items, tell her that you have had a major
clearout of stuff that you didn't want any longer, and then dumped it.
But you will take a look to see if it's still around.

Then say later that you can't find it anywhere, and leave it at that.
What can she do?

good luck

"Max" wrote in message ...
"Fred" wrote in message
...

Has there been a financial settlement indicating where assets and
possessions should go?

We were going through mediation to sort things out but she walked out
after
a few sessions, so no agreement was made. She didn't ask for anything
afterwards, I think she was assuming she could ask later and I would give
her what she would ask for. But when she'd refused to contribute to a
debt
from which she also benefited, but which is in my name only, I said that
if
that is her attitude I would stop being reasonable.

If you're going against an order then you're not
very wise. However, typically it will say what ever is in your
possession
at that time will belong to that person.

She had plenty of time (weeks) to take what she wanted, including her
books,
CDs, whatever - which she did. I am not sure what she thinks she forgot
but
if she is not prepared to be fair to me, then I don't see why I should be
fair to her.

Max

So, you have not yet finalised the divorce by the sound of it, as no final
financial settlement has been made. I think you would be very unwise to be
petty about the CDs and books, as it could rebound on you. Just let her have
what she regards as her stuff.

So, you have not yet finalised the divorce by the sound of it, as no final
financial settlement has been made. I think you would be very unwise to be
petty about the CDs and books, as it could rebound on you. Just let her
have
what she regards as her stuff.

but , in my experience, keep an accurate record of EVERYTHING she takes, and
photographs now digital is so cheap...because she will have a habit of
forgetting things when the financial settlement is fixed.

If, like me you were a two car family , and I had bought solely both cars
using my money ( left as an inheritance by my Father-so she had no claim on
it) , She demanded in my case HER car, so I let her ( and knocked its value
off the settlement, but I kept the log books and purchase documents- and
registered my interest in the car with the DVLA. She of course tried to get
it changed over to her name before the financial settlement , so it wouldn't
be counted..

She may be entitled to collect her items, but she may no longer have access
to the house.... so as someone else says get a full list of what she wants,
carefully box it , so she can't claim damage, and arrange that it will be
left by the front door at a certain time.. Make it clear that after that
time its her responsibility....
My advice would be not to let her in to take what she wants, things will
disappear and you will loose a whole load of valuable items....

Also simply because she asks for it, she is NOT entitled to everything or
decide who gets what- ie if you have 50 CD's pick out the ones you want,
then put out the ones she wants, and divide the remainder to give you each
25. Don't let her have everything she demands- you have an equal demand and
right on items acquired during the marriage.

In message , David J
writes

You have my sympathy. It's not uncommon for them to keep remembering
something else they wished they had taken at the time. It could go on
for ever....

If she gives you a list of items, tell her that you have had a major
clearout of stuff that you didn't want any longer, and then dumped it.
But you will take a look to see if it's still around.

That would be a clear admission of theft, and is not to be advised.
--
Richard Miller

"Max" wrote in message ...

*After* the divorce is final?

Yes.

I thought claims for property had to be
sorted out before the final divorce settlement.

You are confusing two issues.

The divorce settlement will deal with the division of property that you
JOINTLY own.

It doesn't affect those items that you each own in your own right.

You've had very similar answers from a few people now. Whilst I get the idea
that you are looking for answers that tell you that you can get away with
being awkward, the simple answer is that you won't.

On Mon, 16 Oct 2006 14:55:08 +0100, "Dave Mayall"
wrote:

"Max" wrote in message ...

*After* the divorce is final?

Yes.

I thought claims for property had to be
sorted out before the final divorce settlement.

You are confusing two issues.

The divorce settlement will deal with the division of property that you
JOINTLY own.

It doesn't affect those items that you each own in your own right.

This isn't necessarily true. The divorce court has a jurisdiction to
make orders relating to property owned by either party, and is not
bound by pre-existing property rights. If that was not the case, it
would rarely be able to make any orders at all, since who owns what is
likely to be obscure even to the couple themselves, let alone anybody
else. However, if the court has made no order in relation to
particular items of property, those items still belong to the person
who owned them before the divorce.

You've had very similar answers from a few people now. Whilst I get the idea
that you are looking for answers that tell you that you can get away with
being awkward, the simple answer is that you won't.

I agree.

--
Don Aitken
Mail to the From: address is not read.
To email me, substitute "clara.co.uk" for "freeuk.com"

"Dave Mayall" wrote in message
...
"Max" wrote in message
...

*After* the divorce is final?

Yes.

I thought claims for property had to be
sorted out before the final divorce settlement.

You are confusing two issues.

The divorce settlement will deal with the division of property that you
JOINTLY own.

It doesn't affect those items that you each own in your own right.


No - whilst the route the property was acquired may have an impact on any
settlement, generally the other half can make a claim, not only on joint
assets, but also assets owned in your own right.

If it's an asset of a significant magnitude, it's not unknown for orders to
be granted preventing the disposal of the asset.

In this case personal effects are just that. If they are of little value
they won't affect any settlement. You'll lose nothing for being pleasant
and suggest you offer to give them back.

IANAL

On Mon, 16 Oct 2006 14:55:08 +0100, "Dave Mayall"
wrote:

"Max" wrote in message ...

*After* the divorce is final?

Yes.

I thought claims for property had to be
sorted out before the final divorce settlement.

You are confusing two issues.

The divorce settlement will deal with the division of property that you
JOINTLY own.

It doesn't affect those items that you each own in your own right.

You've had very similar answers from a few people now. Whilst I get the idea
that you are looking for answers that tell you that you can get away with
being awkward, the simple answer is that you won't.



Actually, your are wrong here.

I know a number of men who have done just that. Been awkward and have
got away with it. And it was true justice for them....